I Can't Sleep and It's Morning Already

It is almost 4 am, too many thoughts still going in my head, so I say 'hello' to my blog after having left it by its lonesome for almost a year.
First thoughts, how can I have surgery when I can't get my fuckin' blood sugar down?
Do I go back to Januvia? But I am scared of the dangerous side effect, pancreatitis! I also haven't researched why one has to talk to his doctor if one has gallstones, and I sure have some. The surgeon told me to ask for insulin injections already, even just for the surgery. I feel rebellion inside. I have to try get my A1C down some more dietwise, though I have been trying for more than 8 years. Tomorrow I am getting a shipment of 'ampalaya' from a thoughtful friend-gardener-engineer. Let the bitter help control the sweet.
My daughter is here from London for a short vacation. One day short of two weeks. Maybe I am missing her already. Thank God she was already here when the riots broke. I will worry again when she leaves Monday. I worry about her all the time. She has these mood extremes. Though I haven't witnessed any this time. Maybe she has controlled them already. Maybe the pills have been causing them. She has stopped four months ago. She has always been pleasant since she arrived. I worry most about her possible break-up with her boyfriend. After all she has no family in London. I worry how she will handle it just in case. She likes to appear strong and that is what I don't like. I don't like her bottling things inside. They can even cause pimples. Oh cancer-native that I am, always the worrier, maybe they won't break up at all. Go to sleep.
I took my notepad. I list down the dishes I expect on Sunday dinner with her brother and sisters' families. I'll cook dinuguan (tinumis) Mamang-style, my late mother-in-law's specialty, God Bless Her Soul! I'll let her Daddy cook menudo and her sister Pancit Palabok and leche flan. I was thinking of BBQ liempo but lechon oven liempo would be easier to prepare - just throw it in the oven.
In between these thoughts I think of when I am going to paint. When will I be alone with my Art? I have to fix my messy apartment first, but that task is almost an impossibility. I keep postponing it - after I have done this, after I have done that, etc., etc. The paints are almost dry, the brushes stiff. My eyes are blurry without glasses, my fingers beginning to be arthritic.
I think of my teen granddaughters. Am I regretting their having moved to another state? What happened to them? Only five years ago they were still full of life. Now they are zombies with cellphones in hand making sure they don't miss their boyfriends' silly text messages.
They watched a marathon of Jersey Shore in our hotel when we vacationed in California. What? They have become The Situation Mikey Sorrentino and big-boobed mini skirted Snooki Polizzi die-hards? Wake up Son and Daughter-in-law!
The World Economy is scary, the World Peace situation, too, the Philippine drama goes on on TFC and Malacanang. Facebook is taking too much of my time. These yahoogroups' emails are taking much of my time.
I can't sleep !!!